Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Meet Tahnii!

Tahnii is a friend of mine from highschool, we used to gossip about boys and parties...We now gossip about playgroups and baby clothes. This is her story, So beautifully written!
Tahnii Marquis
Mother to Bailey (2.5 years) and
Bella-Rose (3 months)

A typical day involves...
When you're mum, the days roll into one and you wake up and wonder where the time has gone! As much as I try to make every single day magical for my little ones, there are common elements of each day which can only be described as "mummy moments". The kind of moments that are monotonous and routine, and yet all mums can nod their heads and relate to. I'm talking about the nappy changes, the three times a day struggle of mealtimes, the bathing, the story telling, the playing and the bedtime bliss! My days, have increasingly become more and more about these "mummy moments" and less about spontaneity but I couldn't be more happy.

My typical day consists of waking up at 7am (after a night of broken sleep) to the biggest smile from my princess and prince. It's moments like this that you want to capture and put in a bottle so you can release them when they're teenagers and no longer excited to see your face first thing in the morning.
I love mornings. Bailey will bounce into the room and smother his sister (who after her last feed/wake has managed to end up in my bed out of laziness) and myself in kisses and cuddles and we'll all snuggle up in bed until inevitably bum's need to be changed and tummy's fed. When Bella naps, I try to squeeze in some quality time with Bailey. It's not often we get to just bond with no distractions, so this time is so special to me and I miss it so much. Bella will probably only sleep for 40minutes and then back to being a dairy cow.

Meal, Play, Change, Sleep. That is my typical routine. I try to get us all out of the house at least once a day, whether just for a walk or a shop, the fresh air does wonders and restores my sanity, as looking at the same four walls all day is not healthy. And by 6pm it is dinner time, bath time, teeth cleaning, book and bed and by 7pm it is ME TIME!  In reality this usually entails bedtime for me too, as I think I have skipped motherhood and headed straight for the retirement village because by 8.30pm I am usually exhausted and need sleep myself. Gone are the days of all-nighters. All in all...I wouldn't change it for the world.

The best part about being a mother?
There are so many amazing things about being a mum. Sure, there are so many unbelievably hard things too, but the amazing things easily outweigh these tenfold. I think personally, the best thing is the unconditional love. You never really understand the meaning of the word until you look into the eyes of this magical little being which you have created and held in your body for 9 months, then hold them in your arms and know instantly that you would give the world for them. That they love you for your imperfections, and to you; they will always be perfect. That you created life, and in that moment, would die for them. Being a mother is full of smiles and tears every single day, but seeing these little people grow and develop their own little personalities and discover the world, is the greatest experience I have ever had, and I feel blessed to be taking this journey with them.

The hardest part of parenting?
Everybody tells you how hard parenting is going to be. I fell pregnant at 17, so I was told that my social life was over, and that my dreams for the future, everything, was going to be that much harder. As much as this was all true, I accepted it. I think the hardest thing is being constantly judged for every decision I make as a mother. Being a young mum of two, I have to try twice as hard to make sure that I am not put into a stereotypical basket.
It is sad that even we, as mummy's are so judgmental towards each other, and even though I try wholeheartedly to respect other people's decisions, I too have on occasion fallen into the trap. We should never have to, as mothers, defend the decisions we make for our family. We're all sharing the same experience, so should be supportive of each other regardless. A wise woman once told me - "Do not worry yourself about the judgement of others, when they are adults, nobody cares how they were fed and when they learned to walk. All that you need to know is that by 30, they are all toilet trained, sleeping in their own bed, and eat the occasional vegetable".
What inspires you?
Other than my children, Learning. And teaching. Watching your children learn is so amazing. I finally understand the tears in the eyes of parents when they watch their kids on stage, or why unrecognisable pictures are framed and put on the fridge. One of my main passions in life is helping children to learn. You get such an indescribable feeling of pride when they finally "get it". I love that every single day the experiences I share with my children are their first learning opportunities, and I try to foster their growth wherever I can. I never want to see them struggle, and want to help show them the world - which they do through such rose coloured eyes. They could be anything they want, and I want to help them to get there. They will move mountains.
This time next year I will be a fully qualified early childhood teacher, and am proud of myself too for continuing my studies, throughout everything. There are times when I felt like I couldn't study as well as be a full time mum, but at the end of the day I want to set the best example for my children and prove to them they can do anything if they set their mind to it. They are the future generation, and they give me faith that they will be wonderful.

Thoughts on single parenting...
Parenting is hard. I will not lie. Single Parenting is even harder. Being a single mum of a toddler, and a newborn - let's just say it was a struggle of a mountain I was not sure I could conquer. Every single decision I make influences my children, and that is a lot of pressure. At the end of the day I know however that as long as I try to do my best for them, they will forgive me my mistakes and relish in my triumphs alongside me. I think that being a single parent has made me a stronger person. There is no other person to rely on, no other person to get up in the middle of the night whilst you have an extra hour sleep before you have to get up to the day ahead, no other person to cry to when things haven't gone to plan, nobody to share the experiences of their first words and milestones. On the other hand it allows me the freedom of making decisions for my children without conflict or being undermined. It has made me closer to these little angels, who know mummy will always be there. As much as it is lonely, and not a journey I planned on taking alone, I do so with the best of my ability every single day. At the end of the day, relationship status is irrelevant, and all that matters is you did the best you can, and I have.


  1. Beautiful words Tahnii - love your thoughts and your little munchkins are super cute! x

  2. Tahnii :)

    Beautiful, just loved what you have written.
    Your are amazing, and i am so glad i can call you " My friend" your children are so lucky to have you as there mother..

  3. Miss Marquis, you're amazing. As are all Single Parents. i honestly don't know how you do it!

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