Monday, March 28, 2011

Obsession Confession.

Watercolour print from Etsy here

Birdcages. I cannot get enough of them. I love all the different shapes that can be found; hexagonal, dome, square, heart shaped. There is something symbolic for me about a beautifully shaped, delicate looking birdcage. Perhaps freedom? An empty cage means the bird has flown...all that's left is the air of memories, security and maybe a feather fallen in flight.

I have a small collection of birdcages in my house, but still not enough to satisfy my yearning! Recently, I added to it with some wall decals ($10 from kmart if you can believe it!) I love how they look when my room is lit up by just a lamp, I love how they look in the bright of day also. Looking at something often that you find truly beautiful can have such a positive impact on the mood.

I am going to put a permanent mark of beauty where I can see it everyday, forever. Where everyone else can see it everyday forever... With a birdcage tattoo! Looking at it will make me smile.

Is there a certain image or pattern that screams beauty to you? Something that instantly lifts your mood? I believe that you can never have too much of a beautiful thing. So, let loose and surround yourself with a smile inducing image, item or pattern.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Bunny in a Bambi suit.

Stella wears Bambi sleeping bag from Target. 

There is a funny little story behind this suit... In one 24 hour period Stella had managed to take off her PJ pants, onesie and nappy whilst in her cot and wee wee weeee everywhere. Mummy was not at all impressed! My dear friend Emily came over with this sleeping bag and had words with Stella about remaining clothed whilst sleeping. So far, success!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Delicious, Delightful, Dollcake.

Oh My Gosh. I couldn't contain my excitement when I found this website for designer childrens clothing. You have heard me say before that 'I'm not big on pink'. This is different. This is luscious! I adore lace and pearls and soft pinks and vintage whites. I couldn't click, click, click fast enough on all these images. They are to die for! So feminine, pretty, delicate, graceful and....Oh I want! Credit card- run now, run fast and hide.

Now credit card, I said run. What are you still doing here?!
Stellas' first birthday outfit is most definitely going to be an indulgent purchase from this lovely store. Go to the site and get lost in the prettiness for yourself!

Nappy Wrappin' Mums

The Tomme Tippee Nappy wrapper was a time saver for me when Stella was a newborn. If you are going to use disposable nappies, this is the ultimate toy! I purchased it spontaneously during a Boxing Day sale when I was pregnant, not really knowing much about it. Thank goodness I did. When you are changing nappies almost every hour in the first few weeks- 1am, 2am, 4am, 5am... You will thank me. Or Tommee.

It individually wraps each nappy in a fragranced anti-bacterial film, trapping smells and killing germs. I emptied the bin once a week or fortnight when it was full. Which meant I could change the nappy, put it in the bin (which I kept right next to the changetable), twist the lid and go back to bed (that would be the plan). I don't use mine anymore as i'm not changing Stella as much as I used to. But I know many people who continue to use theirs through to toilet training time.

I'd definitely recommend Tommee Tippee be your nappy wrapping friend when you bring that little poopin' bundle home from the hospital. In fact, you could even have my pre-loved near new one! He certainly saved me precious time for more important things.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Our week in words #2

My little girl is becoming less and less 'little' everyday. Each morning she wakes me up with her chit-chatting and I walk into her room to see her smiling up from her cot, her legs kicking excitedly ready to start the day. Each morning something has been different. Aside from the fact that she is growing like a trooper, she is changing emotionally too.

Separation anxiety has been a bit of an issue, apparently it is quite common for babies of this age as they learn who the main peeps are around them and associate them with safety and security. Early in the week it was at its most intense. I would put her down to play and she would cry. I would leave the room and she would cry. She was still waking every 3 hours during the night even though her teeth have come through, sickness has passed and she was a picture of health. She would only sleep with me in my bed (which is something I've never done before, she's always slept on her own). One particularly harrowing night she fell asleep with one hand on my face and one in my hair, as close as she possibly could be to me physically! It was totally adorable, and I loved the closeness but I know that I shouldn't indulge in it too much, I don't want to create habits I cannot break and disrupt the sleeping routine any more than it already has been.

Sleep is still shocking. She has never been a great sleeper, even as a young baby. But I was getting at least 7-12 hours out of her at a night this time 2 months ago. Going back to getting up 4 times a night was not pleasant. I am looking 40 years my senior and feel like a vegetable. How Stella manages to have energy to play and giggle on such little sleep is amazing! We are currently trying to follow a new routine (Which I will share with you later in the week) My friend Tahnii swears by this particular one and has a newborn and a 2 year old who both sleep through like clockwork. So, the book has not left my side. I am following it as strictly as I possibly can and hoping to see some results soon.

I must admit, this week has surfaced a few internal struggles and confusions. I am finding the balance between being a mature mother, trying to create security and predictability and dealing with a disrupted routine (or lack of any routine really) and being a sociable friend who is able to give all of myself to those I love, very hard. Both mentally and physically. Physically, I don't have the energy at the moment. One foot in front of the other is the maximum challenge my body can handle. Mentally, I don't have the confidence. I am feeling a little lost as to 'who' I am and find that my two personas so to speak (Mother and young girl) conflict with each other. I am reading a book at the moment which stated;
"You can't be one kind of person and another kind of parent".

I am the only one in my close circle who is a mother. I am changing as a person and am struggling to see where I belong. This is not to say that my friendships have lessened in value and importance at all. My heart still hold a very large spot for my loved ones. I am sure with time and experience things will become much, much clearer to me. (Gosh, that was cathartic!)

Onto lighter notes, Stella is chit-chit-chatting away like crazy. 'Daddadadda, Na na na, Noo noo noo, Yah yah yah, Num num num, Ma ma maa maa". It is so beautiful! She has also started little tantrums. Her face will go red, she'll straighten her legs and flap her arms and squeel squeel squeel! It is hilarious. I really have to hide my laughter. She was in her cot 'settling' herself to sleep earlier in the week and all I could hear was "No no nooo Mama ma". Made my heart flutter!

I had two play dates with young mums this week, Annalese with Arden (9 months) and Ali with Evie (8 months). It was lovely to see the babies together and how interested in each other they were. They stare at each other with such intrigue and wonder. Stella likes to 'touch' her friends, stroke their hair and hold their arms. Adorable! What I enjoy most about spending time with these people who I share so much in common with, is how much we can talk about in such little time. Solids, sleep, tantrums, talking, teeth, nappies, routines. And all within a matter of minutes we have shared stories, compared experiences and given each other handy hints. It almost gives me a breath of relief to be reassured that we are all in the same boat. We have the same worries and share similar problems. I don't spend enough time doing this, I would love to make the effort to do so more often. It really does help me feel like I am stumbling around on the right track, headed blindly in slightly the right direction.

And that, was a very long, slightly emotion-heavy description of our week! This week we have an 8 month check up with the Child Health Clinic, I have a date with my dear friends helping soph prepare for her big market and we continue the attempt at a new routine. I will write later in the week and share the routine we are following with you.

Time out- Sweet chili Cheese and crackers + parenting books.
A good read from Dr Phil, loving it so far!
Arden and Stella

An old favourite. Happy tunes.

Grocery shopping- Look at those peepers!

She wouldn't let me go all night.

can't shake the dark circles.

Evie and Stella

Enjoying a 'baby mum mum'- first cracker.

My dads latest painting- An abstract picture of me giving Stella an airoplane ride

How was your week? Can you empathise with any of what I am currently feeling? Thankyou for hearing me out and letting me unload on you!
Plenty of love...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Through the window.

It's overgrown and messy. But beautiful.
This is the view from my kitchen window. I love the deep, alluring green and the contrasting soft, delicate pink roses, with large, sharp, perfectly pointed thorns. When i'm unpacking the dishwasher, steralising the bottles, mashing the banannas, stewing the pears...this is what I see.
Understated, raw beauty. And just for me.
When i'm stressed, exhausted, angry, frustrated or just a little blue, I am faced with this view, it's very calming. Even more beautiful when it's a gloomy, rainy day; it seems to almost glow.

These pictures don't do justice at all (We all know my skill with taking photos!) But I wanted to share my little piece of beauty with you.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Social Network Slave

I use Facebook, a lot. I use my iPhone, a lot. My phone is quite literally permanently attached to me. Every two hours I check my Facebook news feed, my notifications, my closest friends status updates, my twitter timeline, my twitter mentions, the Instagram feed and my e-mail. Oh... and send texts and reply to texts. Every two hours might be a little modest actually, it is closer to every hour!

Lately, with exhaustion still lingering in the corners and the attempt of a new routine, keeping up with these hourly checks are becoming more and more draining. It has become a daily chore. I have become a slave to these social networks! King Facebook and Queen Twitter stand over me with a sceptor..."You shalt check thou news feed. Now!" Perhaps thats exaggerated, but are you getting the idea?

Last night I decided I would admit myself to SNAA (Social Networking Addictions Annonymous). I pressed that little black button on the top of my phone, I held it down and turned it OFF! So far it has been 24 hours and I feel clearer already. I'm not going to give it up forever; that would require payed therapy. But i'm hoping a 3 day breather will break the reliance and addiction. It's been great already. Stella has spent the day staring at me with confusion "Something is not right here, my mum doesn't have that black rectangle in front of her face". With a head not clogged up with newsfeeds I actually noticed things I sometimes miss...funny little faces Stella makes, new skills she has learnt. I realised today that if I don't scale down bigtime I will remember nothing of her childhood but gossip and mutual friends of friends.

As sad as it is, I did have to update my status this morning explaining my switch off. I cringed at the thought of "She hasn't updated her status in 2 days, she must be DEAD!", "She hasn't replied to any of my text messages, she must HATE me!". That is how far social networking is effecting our relationships. Of course, it does have its benefits- all my grandparents are on facebook and that is how we catch up, people use facebook to organise fundraisers, events, birthdays. But as with all things in life, enjoy in moderation.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how the next few days pan out without my misleadingly necessary accessory. I am going to 'bunker down' so to speak, and really soak up those minutes with Stella on my own. One on one. Minutes I will never get back once they have passed by.

I wonder if anyone else has tried to break up with their social networks? How did they take it? Did you move on? Please share your stories!