Saturday, June 30, 2012

Sweet little high-flyer.

Description of Photo

Stella is a high intensity toddler. She always has been. In fact, she was even a high intensity baby. I'm sure if I researched and spoke to professionals, mums and other equally judgmental sources, they would assure me it is caused by a number of factors. Maybe her birth process? Maybe my pregnancy emotions? Perhaps I ate too much sugar antenatally? I didn't play Mozart to the fetus in my womb?

The conclusion I have come to as her Mother is that Stella is Stella. She is a high intensity, fast paced, sometimes overly demanding, intelligent and energetic toddler. Which all sounds perfectly reasonable and manageable until the days you are not so high-flying yourself. These are the days I question my parenting and it's abilities. Stella had a playdate with a friend recently, and rather than it be all about rainbows and butterflies it was all about tears and tantrums. She was a frenzied ball of stress.

Evie would build a tower, Stella would purposefully trample it down. Evie would have a dummy, Stella would take it from her mouth and claim it her own. Evie would read a book, Stella would throw the books from the bookshelf. Evie would eat a sandwich, Stella would use hers to wipe the bench with.

I know the golden rule of guilt free parenting is to not ever compare children. They are the definition of individual and no two children will be the same. But, in times like these... I couldn't help but think, "Dear god, why can't you be more like Evie!"

Description of Photo

Stella soon snuggled into bed after the playdate had come to an end, and I stroked her soft head and apologised. Not only am I sorry for comparing her, but I am also sorry for perhaps not accepting her as I should. She is none-the-wiser and has forgiven me like any loving baby does, but I know in myself there are things I need to work on. I need to listen to her needs and find the point of frustration, I need to figure out what it is that creates the frenzied monster attitude she can sometimes take on, and take the steps to eliminate these. Children are always trying to tell us something, through their play, their behaviour and their tantrums. I just wish I could hear her a little better at times.

Have you also got a high intensity toddler? Do you sometimes feel out of control and lacking skills to manage your sweet little high-flyer? How do you cope? What lessons have you learnt? I would love to hear from other mamas who share the same distress at times, as always... share your stories with me.

Here's to hoping the storm has calmed after a nice, long, much-needed afternoon nap!
Plenty of love,
winterlove blog natalie

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this sounds exactly like my daughter, she is constant high energy all day... until she eventually falls asleep.

    Love that head scarf.