Sweet little high-flyer.

Stella is a high intensity toddler. She always has been. In fact, she was even a high intensity baby. I'm sure if I researched and spoke to professionals, mums and other equally judgmental sources, they would assure me it is caused by a number of factors. Maybe her birth process? Maybe my pregnancy emotions? Perhaps I ate too much sugar antenatally? I didn't play Mozart to the fetus in my womb?

The conclusion I have come to as her Mother is that Stella is Stella. She is a high intensity, fast paced, sometimes overly demanding, intelligent and energetic toddler. Which all sounds perfectly reasonable and manageable until the days you are not so high-flying yourself. These are the days I question my parenting and it's abilities. Stella had a playdate with a friend recently, and rather than it be all about rainbows and butterflies it was all about tears and tantrums. She was a frenzied ball of stress.

Evie would build a tower, Stella would purposefully trample it down. Evie would have a dummy, Stella would take it from her mouth and claim it her own. Evie would read a book, Stella would throw the books from the bookshelf. Evie would eat a sandwich, Stella would use hers to wipe the bench with.

I know the golden rule of guilt free parenting is to not ever compare children. They are the definition of individual and no two children will be the same. But, in times like these... I couldn't help but think, "Dear god, why can't you be more like Evie!"



Stella soon snuggled into bed after the playdate had come to an end, and I stroked her soft head and apologised. Not only am I sorry for comparing her, but I am also sorry for perhaps not accepting her as I should. She is none-the-wiser and has forgiven me like any loving baby does, but I know in myself there are things I need to work on. I need to listen to her needs and find the point of frustration, I need to figure out what it is that creates the frenzied monster attitude she can sometimes take on, and take the steps to eliminate these. Children are always trying to tell us something, through their play, their behaviour and their tantrums. I just wish I could hear her a little better at times.

Have you also got a high intensity toddler? Do you sometimes feel out of control and lacking skills to manage your sweet little high-flyer? How do you cope? What lessons have you learnt? I would love to hear from other mamas who share the same distress at times, as always... share your stories with me.

Here's to hoping the storm has calmed after a nice, long, much-needed afternoon nap!
Plenty of love,

Mama said, there'd be days like this.

I try to keep my posts documenting life in an honest and balanced form. I don't like to sugar coat things and will often write about the less than pleasant parts of parenting, I also don't like to be a Negative Nancy and will often write about the happy hours and days in the life of this mama.

But, as the lyric goes. Mama said, there'd be days like this. Days like the last two. The past 48 hours has included two of the above extremes; a totally drab day and a totally fab day. Drab-fabulous to say the least.

Yesterday I woke up with a short fuse, probably around the exact same minute that Stella woke up; on the wrong side of the cot. Together we grumpily got up and started the day on the wrong foot. I reached for the sugar laden breakfast to pick me up, and Stella reached for the peanut butter toast I'd made her...to throw at my head. Yesterday was not a day to get dressed, so we didn't. It wasn't a day to clean up, so we didn't. We remained inside playing with toys, cutting out paper snowflakes and lazing around with pyjama pants on. The kettle was boiled for a cup of tea a few too many times and the kids channel on TV was on for a few too many hours. When the mess started to frustrate me, we ran a bath and hid out amongst the bubbles together for... a few too many hours. It was a day of avoidance and indulgence, and the evidence of my negligence was clear! (try saying that five times over!)

Today, I woke up not knowing what side of the bed I'd risen from. It turns out, the day had decided for us. It was definitely the right side. We were up, dressed and ready to leave the house before 8am to run errands. We called via the park and visited some ducks, then browsed through the mall ticking things off our list. Stella even sat down to spend ten minutes drawing so I could eat some very late breakfast and we managed to catch the bus home without tears or screeches of boredom and protest. My cheeky, sometimes devilish, darling daughter had been overtaken with a sense of calm, co-operative serenity. I am still reeling with pride and disbelief.

The last 48 hours has proven right a little saying I like to tell myself when things get drab or difficult. "Each and everyday is different", I try to repeat inside my head, "Everyday is a new day". It couldn't be more true. 48 hours and two total opposite days, two extremes of mood and emotions and two very different degrees of enjoyable and productive.

I like to think that I embraced them both.
As the lyric goes; Mama said, there'd be days like this.


Plenty of love,

Oh, In the Night Garden...How I love you!

In the Night Garden...Oh how I love you!

Stella has never really shown an interest in television, which could have been seen as a good thing. Until she became more and more energetic through the days and more and more restless through the afternoons. Some afternoons I would nearly collapse in a heap and proclaim "Please sit down and watch playschool, all the other kids are!". After trying and failing with Playschool, Bob the Builder, Bananas in Pyjamas and all the other brightly coloured, highly animated and jingle busting shows currently on the childrens channel, I concluded that Stella just didn't like television and that I would be thankful for this in the future. That's when we discovered In the Night Garden. 

Strategically placed in the time frame of 6:30pm to 7:00pm, In the Night Garden has become part of our nightly routine. For a whole half an hour Stella will sit down (yes, actually sitting down!) cuddled up to me on the couch and watch in awe as her favourite characters navigate a magical garden before bed. Oh, In the Night Garden how I love you! I love the half hour of rest you give me a day, the half hour of cuddles your convince my toddler to give me and the half hour of smiles and giggles I see exuding her little chubby face.

With the failure of many televisions shows to really grab Stellas attention and take her away on an imaginary journey, I am left pondering why a show so simple and repetitive has managed to reel her in enthusiastically. And it seems I am not alone, many Mothers of children under two years old no longer watch the news before putting their children to bed, but watch 'Iggle Piggle' and 'Upsy Daisy' at play.

Before In the Night Garden, there really hasn't been many suitable shows for children in the younger age group. Children in this age of 12 months to 2 years especially like to be stimulated with less colours, noises and commentary. They seem to respond better to low stimulation and repetition rather than the hustle bustle of some programmes. The setting for the show is somewhat natural- a green garden adorned with daisies, tall trees and birds, the very few characters featured speak short and repetitive phrases mixed in with curious, giggle inducing noises.

One of In the Night Gardens' producers says "We became very aware of the anxiety surrounding the care of young children which manifested itself in all kind of directions; but the one big subject that came up again and again was bedtime. It's the classic time for tension between children who want to stay up and parents who want them to go to bed... so this is a programme about calming things down whereas most children's TV is about gee-ing everything up."

And that it certainly does; calms things down. I find when 7:00pm rolls around I could quite easily be tucked up into bed myself. I'll let you in on a little secret... When struggling to fall asleep late at night I sometimes might play the soundtrack of In the Night Garden on my iPhone to call upon the sleepy vibes.

Oh, In the Night Garden, how I love you!

Have you jumped aboard the ninky nonk and the pinky ponk at 6:30pm? Do your children respond well to this sweet but strange television show? I found this article on the phenomenon of In the Night Garden to be an insightful read as to why our toddlers love it so!

Plenty of love,