Saturday, June 9, 2012

People Watching and Intention Parenting

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Today I observed a mother parenting. Not unusual as I must admit I am a little bit of a 'people watcher' at the best of times, and even more curious and intrigued when it comes to watching people parent.

What is unusual, is what I saw. I watched a young mother parent with intention and deliberation. I watched a mother who was aware of her child's emotions at every single moment; making her more able to control and predict his behaviour. I watched a mother be sensitive to her sons feelings while teaching him from right and wrong...while giving him an example of how to share, or an explained and valid reason why not to throw popcorn. I watched a mother guide and lead her child through play. I watched the trusting attachment she had with her son enable her to diffuse tantrums and redirect attention to positive behaviours.

I didn't see this mother, that some in our society may consider passive, run off her feet. I didn't see her pandering to her childs needs with desperation and indulgence. I didn't see her chanting meditation mantras whilst barefoot, I didn't see her chewing her 'vegan and organic only' food before transferring to his mouth.

I also didn't see a spoiled son. I didn't see an oversensitive child who was unable to cope with unpredictable social situations. I didn't see a child who was submissive with his peers or intimidated by authority. I didn't see a disobedient, self-centred, out of control toddler. I saw a toddler act within his developmental stage, I saw a toddler play with enthusiasm and times struggling to share and at times frustrated. However, able to understand his own emotions that were validated and not dismissed by his mother.

I observed a young mother parent with intention and deliberation. Then I came home and read this article and was speechless with its accuracy. The notion that all 'passive and submissive' parents who entertain the idea of attachment parenting are raising a generation of disrespectful and violent youth shocks me, and all the things I observed whilst doing a spot of people watching proved to me, that this isn't the case.

The mother I was watching parented her child with love and passion, yet she wasn't exclusively an attachment parent or an exclusively authoritative parent. She was just a parent, mothering with intention and deliberation. I looked at her sensitivity and awareness in awe, I felt inspired by her.

So, you know what really gets me? The critics who say this mother is to blame for 'the trouble with kids today', or the critics who call her an 'alternative parent'. Whether you believe in the attachment theory or not, shouldn't we all be aiming to parent with intention and deliberation?

I don't know about you, but mothers like the one I watched today... truly inspire me. 

Plenty of love, 
winterlove blog natalie


  1. Lovely! I don't know that much about "attachment parenting" but I do know a lot about being a parent, and recently have adopted the methods of 1-2-3 Magic and it's SO wonderful.

  2. I love all of your posts but I love love love this one. She sounds exactly like my mum. When we are in tune with who our kids are and what they need the whole parenting experience is so much more enjoyable. I notice a difference in kids who have been parented in a way that suits their personality and needs when compared to a child who is being brought up to suit their parent's lifestyle and wants.