Connection. It's something most parents yearn for with their children and many strive to achieve on a daily basis. It's something that for me, was easy to obtain when Stella was younger. There's plenty of opportune moments when snuggling up for a feed, rocking to a lullaby and settling to sleep, plenty of time to breathe in the quite and stillness of the moment and to gaze into your childs eyes.
Young babies rely on you wholly for physical and emotional comfort and if you give all you have...an indescribable degree of connection is formed. Connection achieved with the utmost of love; the unconditional and protective love that a parent holds for their child.
Now that Stella is older, there is less room for those sleepy cuddles and long relaxed gazes. With each month that she gets a little older, our days seem to be filled with more and more of those monotonous daily tasks. Setting boundaries and explaining the why's and hows of things seems to be what each moment is all about...and each moment seems to fly by with tested patience, tantrums and fixing what gets undone. I feel as though I am struggling to connect with Stella emotionally.
It's something I've been thinking about quite regularly... especially when at the end of the day, the only way I have been able to emotionally connect with my toddler is to lift her out of her bed once she's fallen into a deep sleep and cuddle her tightly. With all the exploring, running, eating and dancing that is done in a toddlers day, sitting down for a little moment of reconnection is certainly not feasible.
So, how? How do you reconnect with your child and bring back the bond amongst the daily banal? I am yet to find these answers but I will search within myself until I do. One of my favourite sources of inspiration as a mother at the moment is this blog written about Attachment Parenting. I find myself more and more drawn to this concept and the values is represents. It seems that attachment parenting has all the answers I need to get through these slight phases of insecurity and unsettlement, and the more I read, learn and research about the topic the more aware I am of my parenting abilities.
Tell me, have you ever felt a little disconnected from your child? Or had a longing to connect and bond like you did when they were so snuggly and dependant? How do you connect with such a busy little being in such a busy busy lifestyle?
Share with me your thoughts! I'd love to hear what you think.
Plenty of love,
I think connecting with your child just changes as the years go. While physical contact and comfort where once all she needed, she no longer needs as much. I've found with my twins (now 2) that they desire a deeper kind of connection, one where I look into their eyes, play games with them, laugh at them, tickle them, play with them, come up with fun crafts to do, help them learn new skills.
ReplyDeleteThere are phases too where I have felt disconnected with them, when it seems where Mommy can't comfort them anymore, but it's usually short-lived.
I think thats the case! And definitely something to do with the independence growth they have at this age. They no longer need you as much and you need to find new ways of bonding...laughing and playing might be the new cuddles and snuggles? :)
DeleteThankyou for your wisdom and insight. xx