It's 4am...

Its 4am, and I have never felt more calm. 

Stella is teething at the moment, her top left tooth is half way through and the right one is breaking the surface. She has been grizzly and clingy to mama, but generally not too bad. Definitely not as difficult and unsettled as when her first bottom teeth graced us. She woke at around 1:30 am, I changed her nappy, re-tucked her blankets in and gave her some teething relief. I rubbed her tummy, kissed her cheek and said goodnight, I left the room.

We all have our own techniques when it comes to settling our out of character unsettled babies. For me, I have learnt that I can provide comfort and security without actually getting Stella up from her own cot. Not all mamas would agree with this, but for us, this works. I know that although I am craving to get her out, cuddle her and feed her back to sleep, purely for comfort...that in the long run, this isn't effective for teaching her to self settle. However, there are no 'rules'. As mothers, we tend to follow a combination of wisdom, our babies lead and emotions. Friday night, instead of letting her self settle I gave her a night of indulgent comforting. She came into my bed and snuggled right up into me, her head on my shoulder. It's what needed to be done to get four hours sleep before a day of work. We do what we need to do.

I am so much stronger than I used to be when it comes to my own parenting decisions, I used to fret constantly that I wasn't doing the 'right thing'. Now, if Stella wakes during the night and is out of sorts, I can remain calm and follow our usual routine. 'Keep calm and carry on'. I follow her lead, I follow my instincts, I follow our emotions.

Its 4am, and I have never felt more calm. 

Stella is still awake in her cot, not crying. Just rolling around and sucking on her blankets (apparently blanket sucking is amazing when you are 11 months old), I know she will go back to sleep soon, I know we will get a chance to catch up on this lost sleep at some stage. I know her tooth will come through and the discomfort will go. I noticed this 'calm' trait surfaced when I became a single mother, with each passing month, week and day it becomes stronger and stronger.

 Its 4am, and I have never felt more calm. 

Stella has fallen back to sleep. The house is quiet and still. I have a wheat pack and hot milk. I look around me and see nothing but calm, feel nothing but peace, content and happiness. Motherhood, I love you.