Sunday, August 14, 2011

Twilight wandering.

Tonight, Stella and I went for a twilight stroll. It was beautiful. Cold and fresh. People were bustling home from work, switching on lights and preparing dinner. We walked past a house with the curtains wide and the light within shining out onto us. A little boy lay on his brightly coloured bed sheets. Toys of all sorts lined his dresser and coloured pictures were blu-tacked to the walls. His father was in the kitchen running water and organising pots and pans. In the drive, a young girl and her mother were getting out of their car, the girl was wearing a leotard and ballet shoes, the mother was grabbing grocery bags from the boot.

I don't usually people watch so intensely, but tonight I let my gazing get the better of me. What I was watching, is what I have always wanted. It's what I aim to have. Simple family pleasures of cooking and eating together, running errands and raising children. I want coloured pictures on my fridge and lunchboxes waiting to be filled. I want to be at dance lessons and football training, parent-teacher interviews and school plays.

This isn't something that I've just figured out, I've always been very maternal. My answer to the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question was always..."A mother and a wife". I've yearned for family life for so long, and now I am living it. A slightly altered version of it. I hope to one day have all those little extras, the 'real deal'.

I know that it isn't the typical dream of a 21 year old, but that doesn't make my dreams and goals any less legitimate. I will work, learn, have a career, save money...but all of that will be in the background. My passion and goal in life is family. Watching this family tonight just fuelled my desire. 

Do you have that same strong yearning for a family and for love? Or do you yearn for something entirely different? Perhaps travel or climbing the corporate ladder?
Plenty of love...

1 comment:

  1. I love walking when it's starting to get dark:)

    That is exactly what I want, but I still have to find the man to do it with. Right now I don't feel like it will happen.

    I love your blog x