Saturday, August 13, 2011

Friendships and baby chinos.

A few weeks back I had a lovely little outing with one of my dear friends, Lydia. We took Stella to the park, shared a coffee and did a some shopping. Stella had her first baby chino and slide experience. A casual, relaxing Saturday.

Time with Lydia got me thinking of how friendships change when you have children. Pre-baby we are all a little guilty of thinking that our lives will only change slightly, that the baby will slot in with our own lifestyles. Our routines will only change minimally, our babies will come along to every social outing and just sleep tucked away in a corner somewhere. We will still be gossiping about the same old news, still competing with being on trend with the latest fashions and still maintaining the same friendships and relationship dynamics. How totally and utterly wrong!

While I expected and accepted that my life would change dramatically and welcomed it with open arms, what I didn't expect was the way in which friendships altered. I became a lot closer with those who already had children and a lot closer to those who had 'settled' lifestyles and concrete aspirations. Perhaps this was an unconscious motherly instinct protecting my offspring from negative people, maybe it is just called maturity. Either way, friendships changed.

What astounds me is the way my non-parent friends have adapted to my new lifestyle. They are truly incredible in the way they accept and accommodate me being a mother. They understand that social outings must fit around routines, they are all too happy to chat amongst some mashed vegetables and sippy cups. They have taken Stella under their wings as an extension of me, developing their own personal relationships with her that are special. I become speechless when watching them shower her with love and adoration and can only imagine the guidance they will provide for her as she grows. These are the friends I see sticking around for life. These are the ones I can imagine at my wedding, holding my next baby, asking me for advice when they have their own.

I have mentioned before about the bond I share with my friends who are parents, this is my toast to the ones who aren't and the amazing job they do at not making it a big deal. So cheers, to friendship!

Did you experience a drastic change in dynamics with your friendships after having children? Do you have many friends without children? Share your stories with me, I'd love to hear them.

Plenty of love...

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