Friday, March 15, 2013

A pretty picture and a racing heart.

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So, here I sit.

My sweet girls are sleeping and I am experiencing this thing called silence. It is truly, understatedly amazing. These moments are so rare, diamonds of stillness.

As I was sitting amongst all the quiet and soaking it up millisecond by millisecond, my mind began to wander in search of pleasant places. Creative, inspiring, intriguing places. Places where wisdom is shared, knowledge is gained and above all, passion is reverberated.

I started thinking of my happy place, my blog. Rather than feeling a little deflated and a lot disappointed like I have been when Winter Love has popped in, I started feeling breathless. My heart was racing and I couldn't keep still. I feel like it is finally time again.

The image featured above is one I have on my bedside table, it really doesn't represent anything to me. I just found it on an Etsy trawl and it found its way into my shopping cart (and then it found its way into my letterbox, Funny that!). And now it sits in a pretty frame on my bedside table. Just a pretty picture, with pretty colours. And a pretty birdcage too, which we all know I find lovely. This morning, when Stella came bounding into the bedroom to say her goodmornings she pointed at the pretty picture and asked me "Mummy, why is she sad?" Before I could think of an answer that would be suitable for a such a teeny little girl she said quite matter-of-factly, "She's sad 'cos the birdy went away!", and la-di-da'd on her way to the kitchen. Pretty bland story really, but when coupled with the overwhelming feelings I have had this afternoon, it all seemed to have a higher meaning.

A metaphor.

Sometimes, we need to let things go. In seek of better things. Perhaps in light of more important things, the real things. You set the bird free, because it is the right thing to do. It upsets you, but pleases you simultaneously. Whilst my love for connecting with the creative world and passions for writing, motherhood and children were a pleasant thing to keep, I needed to let it go. It was the best thing at the time. While I say that having two children under three is busy (Ha! Busy doesn't seem to do it justice) I could have fit Winter Love in there somewhere over the past 6 months. However, to give myself wholeheartedly to one passion in sacrifice of another is true to who I am. And so I did.

But now something feels different. I don't really have more time, nor do I multi-task any better than I used to. But I feel that recently I have began to find myself again. I've been excited by creative ventures, moved by inspiring articles and have began drifting off to that familiar happy place once again. I have re-kindled with a beautiful friend who always kept me creative and dreaming and brushed the dust from my favourite muses. Beneath all the mother (Which I love), me has began to surface again. And it feels so good. It makes perfect sense to return to what once got me excited, got me reading, writing and connecting with intense passion and interest. It makes perfect sense to return to Winter Love.

I know it is going to take hard work to build up readership again and to set goals and aspirations for this little wonderland of mine, but the first step is always the hardest right?

I hope you are still reading, let's take up where we left off!

Plenty of love,
winterlove blog natalie

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