Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Three P's by Mr P.

I have introduced you to Mr Perfect here before. He's still here, and still as perfect as ever. Even more perfect when he asked me to guest post on my blog. Yep, he asked me. He had already written a draft and was nervous about sending it to me. I must admit, when I read it I smiled like a child at Christmas, and smiled and smiled for hours later.

Without further ado, here is his first post. My heart is swelling just reading it again!

Three (P)eas in a pod

I always struggle with first liners, however so many precede mine that I’ve found it easy to go with the flow. For those who are up to date with this blog, I need not give myself an introduction. For those who are not, I suggest you do some reading as I assure you, you’ll be better off for doing so.

It’s not too often a person finds themselves in the situation I have, falling in love at a 1st birthday I wish to share the story and insight from my perspective in dating a single mama.

Not only does the title of this post refer to obviously Natalie, Stella and refers to three defining “P” words that are important in sharing my experience..

The first is required in everyday life, irrespective of the context or situation you find yourself in. However, PATIENCE is required to be mastered when dating a single mother. Prior to Nat and I being “official” as a couple, I found it important to demonstrate this to myself and to Nat. I understood the situation and knew that my patience was required. I knew that in doing so, I would be welcomed into her own, and Stella lives. Baby steps.

When the time came to bring Stella into the equation, not just verbally...but physically I found myself learning new skills and patience for which I did not know I had. For example, it takes a lot longer to get ready, or to pack a car when heading out. I found myself required to venture into an aisle in the supermarket I never had to prior, or the need to constantly say “excuse me” to strangers whilst pushing a pram. Speaking from a new experience, I assure any reader that the enjoyment that is brought is definitely worth the wait..

And so, my second point; A “rule” that is required in dating a single mother...PRIORITIES & PLANNING... Let it be known I like to be somewhat romantic, and like nothing more than wining & dining or cuddling on the couch while watching a movie. As a male in my instance, dating a single mother however has its restrictions. You need to be someone completely unselfish and open to the fact that you are not going to be put first in a lot of situations. Before committing to this kind of relationship, it needs to be known that another’s child is always going to come first, therefore I found it extremely important to always plan ahead. As I understood the situation early, I asked Nat to go to dinner with me three weeks before the intended date. Time spent catching up on sleep or with other friends, planning someone to mind Stella, work commitments etc were only some of the possible restrictions to cross my mind. (For the record, the date was everything I had dreamed and as far as I am concerned, from that night on Nat was now no longer a “single” mother)

I know that my last point remains the most crucial, and important to everyone involved...a PASSION for PARENTING...I consider myself to have always been a family man and hold this as the most important aspect (after my own health) in my life. Parenting is for some people, and for others it is not...I for example, have always completely loved children. However being directly involved in all the “nitty gritty” in caring for child was no exception, I was sucked in.. I fell in love with the connection I witnessed between Mother and Daughter, and with the one that was created between the three of us for ourselves. I fell in love with two girls and knew my heart was sold on not only the idea of continuing it into the future, but the excitement of becoming a father for myself one day.

I have found the experience nothing but rewarding, and give the following advice to readers:

•   To people curious of the idea on dating a single parent – Do your research, learn and understand the situation. If you are prepared to wait, you will find yourself in a completely honest, loyal and extremely loving three (or more) way relationship
•   To any single parents – NEVER give up hope. If your heart so desires, I assure you that the right person is out there for you. Give him or her the time to understand your situation, and to work out for themselves what is required. Trust me, we’re out there!

As expected it can be difficult at times, but at the end of the day I know that we have the love and patience to get through anything. Together.

I love Stella, and I am in love with her Mother.. There is a future for us, I have never been more certain... and in good time I see myself asking the penultimate question...also beginning with “P” *wink wink*

Watch this space!


  1. A beautiful post :) So happy for you three :)

  2. Gah there is so much cuteness it this post. Men being loving, romantic, thoughtful and honest cuteness! Even the pics are cute. You have yourself a cutie Nat, can't wait to meet you're man! For that other P he is talking about, he should totally get some tips off Alex *wink wink* xx

  3. Loved this read! My sister is a single mother who has been hesitant to test the dating waters. I'll be passing this on to her. Much love to the three of you. xxoo

  4. OMG how cute is he!!??? I am so happy for you both.... what a great love story.