Showing posts with label super mum phenomenon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label super mum phenomenon. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Imperfect Truths.

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Sometimes, motherhood can be glorified beyond recognition. We have the ability to layer varnish upon varnish atop the weathered and withered reality that being a mother is. I think that's where the super mum phenomenon was born and bred...we've added a large dose of misconception to the mixture and slathered it on thick. I am guilty of glossing my mum-life up, as most (especially bloggers and mothers in the public eye) are. I've written about the effect super-mum syndrome has had on my life before, and still have internal struggles to this day.

A part of me feels very passionate about stamping that super-mum phenomenon to the ground, creating protest against it, making movements to object it and encouraging others to reject it. But, I also know that a significant part of me is still clutched tightly by this deceptive syndrome. Baby steps are key, baby.

What dawned on me most recently, was our hesitation to tell it like it is. I've also learnt along my journey of Motherhood that 'telling it like it is' is a significant coping mechanism for me. I'm not sure if it's the honesty, the 'realness' or the acceptance that reassures me most. I also LOVE hearing other mamas keeping it real, I am very blessed to have a beautiful circle of friends who are mothers. We are all very close, very honest and very supportive of each other and adore sharing the imperfect truths together.

So in the spirit of 'anti super mum', I am going to share with you my imperfect truths of the week, shed light on my imperfections and perfect normality and accept them wholly.  Do you want to join the movement? Let's make a protest together; for each other!

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Truth  #1: I no longer fold my laundry. That's right, drop your jaw. With at least one load of washing a day (which usually accumulates until Monday) I have far too much washing to fold and put away. The girls are forever making food messes, paint messes and I am forever making cooking messes. So, my new tactic in order to get that basket empty is to just open and shove. Open the drawer, shove it in, close the drawer and walk away.

Truth  #2: I was busy feeding Isla her mashed veg at lunch one day last week when Stella decided she couldn't wait a second longer for her lunch. So, (with my verbal guidance) she went to the fridge, got out the jug of noodles and sat herself up on the couch eating cold noodles from a 500ml jug with her fingers. They both ate, they both smiled. Winning all around if you ask me!

Truth #3: I take my phone with me to the toilet, so if I am lucky enough to have little faces leave me alone for one minute I can sneak in some mindless Instagramming.

Truth #4: Nick treated himself to a box of Coco Pops and offered them to Stella one morning instead of her usual Weetbix. Of course, she loved them, inhaling every last chocolatey rice puff and then drinking the sweet milk. "Mummy, I LOVE Popo Cocks!" she proudly proclaimed. I didn't correct her and I didn't lecture Nick on nutrition because; Popo Cocks sounds cute (for now) and the smiles from them both at the dining table were worth it.

Truth #5: From 9am to 4:30pm yesterday, a 30 minute Fairies DVD played on repeat. That's fifteen times I agreed to "One more time mama?". Obviously a big chunk of this time was spent inattentive to The Fairies. But still, a significant amount of time was spent dancing and singing about Barnaby the Busy Busy Bee.

What imperfect truths have you got to share this week? Join me in the movement and tell me yours, or hashtag your imperfect but wonderful mothering moments on Istagram (#imperfecttruths). Baby steps to stamping down that super-mum, baby steps!

Plenty of love,
winterlove blog natalie

Monday, April 1, 2013

Hurry up, relax!

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Painting my nails is probably one of the most mindful tasks I occasionally indulge in...because with wet fingernails, you cant do. You can only be. I am forever doing, and sometimes I forget how good it feels to just be. I've been practicing the art of mindfulness (more on this later) as much as I can lately, and it really is a challenge. Sometimes I need to make a conscious effort to schedule in my mindfulness, other times it just finds me. Like, when I'm painting my nails in a rare child-free house.

I don't know about you, but when I have a few moments to myself without children around, I become a flustered mess. How much can I possibly fit in the two hours or so? How many jobs can I get done? how much re-charging can I accomplish? Hurry, hurry, hurry. Hurry up and relax! More often than not, I pass that two hours by buzzing around thinking about what I could be getting done, rushing and forcing relaxation (which really isn't relaxing at all) and doing, doing, doing. I am determined to throw this concept out the door, it really isn't working for me or for my inner calm.

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I came across this quote quite some time ago and every now and then it jingles in the back of my head. We need to stop the glorification of busy. Being busy is sadly far more acceptable in society (especially in the parenting community) than 'just being' is. Yet, I know for me 'just being' often brings the most enjoyable and magical times in my motherhood journey. Surprisingly, they can be the most productive and accomplishing also. The most memorable moments with my children are born from impromptu, spontaneous days and these are often the days I find myself teaching them new things about the world, helping them master a new skill or inspiring new passions within them.

What do you think about the expectations on parents, mothers especially, to be busy and multi-tasking to a comatose state? I get so incredibly angry at the misconceptions our society has created surrounding motherhood and the super-mum phenomenon.

'Just being' is going to be a work-in-progress for me and if I can ensure that every day has a significant chunk of mindfulness involved, I will be one very zen mama! It seems I'm adding to my list of mantra's to live by; Less is more, Everything simplified and Just be.
Plenty of love,
winterlove blog natalie